Continuing their inexplicable logic that riding a bicycle on the streets of Manhattan is somehow qualitatively more criminal than driving a car, or, really, just testifying to some feelings of sexual inadequacy (though you have to be careful with lines like these: a friend, stopped by an officer — in, granted, a small Southern city — late in the night after he decided to collect a number of traffic cones he found attractive in his inebriated state, said in reponse to the officer’s request to replace the cones, or be written up: “Ah, now, I know you can’t be a cop, because you can read and write”. This of course resulted in a trip to the drunk tank and his first experience with the best drunk descriptor ever “toe up from the floe up” [written phonetically]) through silly displays of authority, the NYPD turned up at the Critical Mass ride Friday with their pissy little flyers about not riding three abreast, etc. and, stymied by the clever actions of some, who, fearing a seizure like last month, simply dismounted, locked up their bikes and walked off, proceeded to steal legally locked bicycles. And here’s the kicker: they sawed the locks. This, after everyone in the world watched the demonstration last week on how to open a Kryptonite lock with pen. Mabye it’s true that real cops can’t write, and thus were without the proper implements for stealing a bike in this city.
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Exactly how dim is the NYPD? Well, apparently they never heard of this Internet thing.
Continuing their inexplicable logic that riding a bicycle on the streets of Manhattan is somehow qualitatively more criminal than driving a car, or, really, just testifying to some feelings of sexual inadequacy (though you have to be careful with lines like these: a friend, stopped by an officer — in, granted, a small Southern city — late in the night after he decided to collect a number of traffic cones he found attractive in his inebriated state, said in reponse to the officer’s request to replace the cones, or be written up: “Ah, now, I know you can’t be a cop, because you can read and write”. This of course resulted in a trip to the drunk tank and his first experience with the best drunk descriptor ever “toe up from the floe up” [written phonetically]) through silly displays of authority, the NYPD turned up at the Critical Mass ride Friday with their pissy little flyers about not riding three abreast, etc. and, stymied by the clever actions of some, who, fearing a seizure like last month, simply dismounted, locked up their bikes and walked off, proceeded to steal legally locked bicycles. And here’s the kicker: they sawed the locks. This, after everyone in the world watched the demonstration last week on how to open a Kryptonite lock with pen. Mabye it’s true that real cops can’t write, and thus were without the proper implements for stealing a bike in this city.