{"id":264,"date":"2004-09-26T11:22:11","date_gmt":"2004-09-26T18:22:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/missrepresentation.com\/?p=264"},"modified":"2004-09-26T11:22:11","modified_gmt":"2004-09-26T18:22:11","slug":"exactly-how-dim-is-the-nypd-well-apparently-they-never-heard-of-this-internet-thing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/missrepresentation.com\/?p=264","title":{"rendered":"Exactly how dim is the NYPD? Well, apparently they never heard of this Internet thing."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Continuing their inexplicable logic that riding a bicycle on the streets of Manhattan is somehow qualitatively more criminal than driving a car, or, really, just testifying to some feelings of sexual inadequacy  (though you have to be careful with lines like these: a friend, stopped by an officer &#8212; in, granted, a small Southern city &#8212; late in the night after he decided to collect a number of traffic cones he found attractive in his inebriated state, said in reponse to the officer&#8217;s request to replace the cones, or be written up: &#8220;Ah, now, I know you can&#8217;t be a cop, because you can read and write&#8221;. This of course resulted in a trip to the drunk tank and his first experience with the best drunk descriptor ever &#8220;toe up from the floe up&#8221; [written phonetically]) through silly displays of authority, the <a href=\"http:\/\/nytimes.com\/2004\/09\/26\/nyregion\/26bike.html\">NYPD turned up<\/a> at the Critical Mass ride Friday with their pissy little flyers about not riding three abreast, etc. and, stymied by the clever actions of some, who, fearing a seizure like last month, simply dismounted, locked up their bikes and walked off, proceeded to <strong>steal legally locked bicycles<\/strong>. And here&#8217;s the kicker: they <em>sawed the locks<\/em>. This, after everyone in the world watched the demonstration last week on how to open a Kryptonite lock with pen. Mabye it&#8217;s true that real cops can&#8217;t write, and thus were without the proper implements for stealing a bike in this city.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Continuing their inexplicable logic that riding a bicycle on the streets of Manhattan is somehow qualitatively more criminal than driving a car, or, really, just testifying to some feelings of sexual inadequacy (though you have to be careful with lines like these: a friend, stopped by an officer &#8212; in, granted, a small Southern city [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-264","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/missrepresentation.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/264","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/missrepresentation.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/missrepresentation.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/missrepresentation.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/missrepresentation.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=264"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/missrepresentation.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/264\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/missrepresentation.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=264"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/missrepresentation.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=264"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/missrepresentation.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=264"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}